Monday, November 30, 2009

2 inevidable things

i added ruffles to my bluenotes long sleeve ( got idea from Kookai)
self-made skirt
aldo lace flats
elizabeth arden rouge lip stick.

1) being jealous
2) wanting what you don't have.

I have been pondering day in and day out how to avoid these facts that nag at me. Like why don't I treasure what i have? does it really take stripping away my core for me to realize how amazing things are? I guess I just constantly want improvement, but where is that line between wanting and never being satisfied? kinda like faustus who is always wanting more and more power and ends up in the hell of his own unsatisfactory. . and why is it so hard to love someone without being jealous. or caring about someone so much that when you see them with someone else it tugs at some strings in you essence you didn't know you had. The movie Kissing Jessica Stein words it out nicely, I'll paraphrase since i can't seem to find the quote.. it makes me sad that your happy not because i don't want you to be happy but because I want to be the one that makes you happy.

how can you compete for someone's attention when there are so many other people out there.. ?
maybe when I do find the right one, I won't mind sharing his attention with everyone because I would know that ultimately his attention and his life for that matter is mine, as much as mine is his. this is very similarly applicable to best friends and parents.. wow.

well for now, I know what i want, and I'm not going to settle. I'm happier this way because even if I am by myself at least I can embrace my dreams and faith instead of knowing at the end of the day I just complied to the norm of needing affection. I believe very much in love at first sight, not fully, but that chemistry, that SPARK, because if they have never caught my eye, and i end up falling for his personality... it's not enough. I don't know how to explain it but it's lacking an ingredient from the grand recipe. I would want to say lust isn't that important but i'd be lying. Lust is a stage of intimate love.. do you agree? anyways when that comes along, the guy better prove me wrong in the fact that I will never have to leave him to realize i want him. I guess this week is another lesson learned.


Tuesday, November 24, 2009

wearing a canvas.

this is my feminist dress for my arts York Class ; let me explain lol!
stripes; like caution tape like watch out this girl can do some serious stuff ; )
and on each strip it says something positive and why women should really appreciate and love themselves: brain, beauty, individuality, strength, independence.. and the stripes are also a beware sign to women in how they present themselves and try not to get media influence them ( newspaper and magazine collage on the sides) because most companies are own by men, and it is men influencing how most women are portrayed.
there are a few things painted along the bottom of the dress; corset, tie, undies, work shirt; and a girl standing in the door way ( as if she stripped off all her clothes that both defines being in a work place with man as well as embracing her femininity ). the gold sparkle representing how girls sparkle duh; girl power! and also being proud of who we are. :)

second and third painting coming along :)! can't wait to have the collection of three dresses!
ciao 4now♡

autumn leaves.

bluenotes dress
apple from pmall
legwarmers H&M
shoes Aldo baby
purse; my friends LV
scarf (surprisingly) my brother's
belt CK

spoof dress; isn't it beautifuL? i love the silkyness; such a steal for $20

anyways i'm off to patterning class

Friday, November 20, 2009

it's a new era

well for me anyways; i finally moved and am absolutely inlove with my room!! everything is kind of changing and it's fast! lol.

so i was downtown the other day for nation portfolio day; but because of the parade it took my friend and i forever to get down there! and then i couldn't get a interview with PRATT (first time i've heard of it; ny design school) i waited for 50 minutes! and the girl infront of me was the last one to be seen. alwell. grabbed street hotdog. SOO gooooodd : P and shopped a bit and headed back uptown. p.s. my first time on the GO bus! so comfy haha.

this is me downtown across from OCAD; wearing hat and scarf from H&M, Vneck navy long sleeve from Dynamite, dress from H&M, purse I found while moving into my new house; i put frills on it :P, self made belt from the previous entry, lace tights and aldo boots.

This painting I did is finally hung on my wall lol; screw the teacher who gave me like 75%; i still really like my work : P

so i happened to see this at eatons and so (with the inspiration of my friend as well) decided to add some spunk to my ado boots : )

a random pic of me in the hallway of my school: brown button up from europe, pumkin skinny jeans, oldnavy tank and my moms ear rings: )

a flimpse at my room; notice the SHOEE RACK : ) * & i have a table just for sewing and my cozy bed ! oh and like amazing big windows. only thing is the room is kind of cold.. brr.

In Fashion Student group transforming an old teeshirt...

stuck in trafic


selfmade sweater; it's soooo comfy : )

gotta run!

ciao4now ♡

Thursday, November 12, 2009

raw intentions

when you strip away all the layers.
everything that you hide behind.
everything that you try to be.

what is the very raw. you.?

self made belt

so little timeeee: why am i such a control freak!
I cannot let myself not finish a day's homework, I can't just walk out of a class, I can't just NOT worry about a test a week from now, I can't just skip a meal, I can't just spend a night watching tv, I can't just let myself eat after 8pm, I can't just LET it be.
i need control. control. control. control. structure. structure. structure.
and what i don't understand is why!
why am i so compelled to it.
what have i been bombarded with that my instinct is like this?
part of it i guess is media. if i don't do well in school, I won't get into a good university, can't get a good job, and end up on the streets?
lol; a little extreme but i guess that's everyone's fear.

but what is the truth?
if i don't get that 99% in school, does that make me any less of a person.
does that NUMBER define my future?
i refuse to believe it.

yet how can I relax and really understand at the back of my head that there's no need to worry and control because that little nagging feeling is always there! " emily you should do this now." "emily your wasting valuable time sitting here, walking there, being here, going there."

because if it is meant to be

there's no escaping "the plan"
some call it fate.
some call it destiny.

& it's the one thing I can't control so EMILY CHILAX!


Monday, November 9, 2009

law abiding citizen

top: spoof
jeans: mendocino
shoes: escada
buttterfly!!! LOL from those machines where you put 2bucks in and you try to fish one out!
my friend tried for the big one
but then if you don't get it you can keep playing till you get a crappy one Lol;
once again i pulled it out by accident; trying to pull a ugly jellyfish and somehow a butterfly came out of nowhere haha.
i like.

super relaxing day; out all day with my awesome friends : ) ate at yummy restaurant named SOBAN by finch, went to richmonhill library with friendsies and borrowed a stack of dvd so excited to start watching ! & then danced in the parking lot of finch hahaha. and movied; law abiding citizen which i really like : one of those thinking movies. & sushi with mommy;

love pa days!

ciao 4now